I commenced my battle nearly 2 months ago. However, what I have done is so little. I've got to blame myself for being so hooked up with work that have no time working on my battle. I spent the recent few weeks, reading "The 7 habits of HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE" but have no time to note them down here and trying to practice them.
And now, I'm spending a part of my little time reading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow". It is so interesting that I can stay up pretty late reading it... Oh dear, I wish if I could have that spirit for the battle... staying up that late working on my self-improve battle :((... As an excuse, I found it an opportunity to improve my English, widen my vocabulary pool... Anyway, I decided to finish the book up before working on the battle 'full-time' (as in the time I have left excluding my work).
Btw, you can read the ebook free here, thanks to scribd
http://www.scribd.com/doc/201604/Harry-Potter-and-the-Deathly-Hallows-complete-book
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Yet another argument
This time is about how we are going to share housework.
Yesterday, I ordered Mc Donalds for both of us. After finishing half of the fries, we was short of chili sauce. I would like to have some more. Thinking I already ordered the food, I asked him to get some chili sauce but he refused to do so and kept watching the tv behind us. I felt like pretty upset, wondering whether he will help me later for the housework, when we will be staying together. The argument was over that problem... I have to accept that was a small thing, he, as a man, did not feel like doing it... Anyway, I was still feeling upset... asking him to do such a small thing yet being refused...
Today, I decided to 'do research' on the problem... Just figured out that from recent surveys, key for good marriage is sharing housework... The Pew Research Center survey on marriage and parenting found that children had fallen to eighth out of nine on a list of factors that people associate with successful marriages -- well behind "sharing household chores," "good housing," "adequate income," a "happy sexual relationship" and "faithfulness." Chore-sharing was cited as very important by 62 percent of respondents, up from 47 percent in 1990.
Alright then, I have to work more on this problem because based on my experience, I will be the one who will do most housework. How to let go with the problem like this completely, not feeling upset after and adding up with another same incidents later on. I found out an article saying some advice that can help the problem. That is SAYING THANK YOU. Yes, it is that simple, but not that easy to do.
A. For me, the one who voluntarily (by the mindset of myself and my future husband) will do most of the housework, here are the tips
1. Avoid repeat the work that I do not want to do.
2. Ask my husband when there is work that need to be done, not waiting and expecting until he takes the initiative to do. That will lead to the disappointment...
3. SHOW MY GRATITUDE FOR WHAT HE DID, EVEN IF IT DOES NOT SATISFY MY EXPECTATION
B. For him, ask or show him that I need him to show gratitude for what I did (He did, but I need more I guess =)) )
C. For both of us:
1. List what should be done for a week or a month, to know and understand each other's contribution
2. Understand each other's limitation in the house work, to mention the problem in calm...
Yesterday, I ordered Mc Donalds for both of us. After finishing half of the fries, we was short of chili sauce. I would like to have some more. Thinking I already ordered the food, I asked him to get some chili sauce but he refused to do so and kept watching the tv behind us. I felt like pretty upset, wondering whether he will help me later for the housework, when we will be staying together. The argument was over that problem... I have to accept that was a small thing, he, as a man, did not feel like doing it... Anyway, I was still feeling upset... asking him to do such a small thing yet being refused...
Today, I decided to 'do research' on the problem... Just figured out that from recent surveys, key for good marriage is sharing housework... The Pew Research Center survey on marriage and parenting found that children had fallen to eighth out of nine on a list of factors that people associate with successful marriages -- well behind "sharing household chores," "good housing," "adequate income," a "happy sexual relationship" and "faithfulness." Chore-sharing was cited as very important by 62 percent of respondents, up from 47 percent in 1990.
Alright then, I have to work more on this problem because based on my experience, I will be the one who will do most housework. How to let go with the problem like this completely, not feeling upset after and adding up with another same incidents later on. I found out an article saying some advice that can help the problem. That is SAYING THANK YOU. Yes, it is that simple, but not that easy to do.
A. For me, the one who voluntarily (by the mindset of myself and my future husband) will do most of the housework, here are the tips
1. Avoid repeat the work that I do not want to do.
2. Ask my husband when there is work that need to be done, not waiting and expecting until he takes the initiative to do. That will lead to the disappointment...
3. SHOW MY GRATITUDE FOR WHAT HE DID, EVEN IF IT DOES NOT SATISFY MY EXPECTATION
B. For him, ask or show him that I need him to show gratitude for what I did (He did, but I need more I guess =)) )
C. For both of us:
1. List what should be done for a week or a month, to know and understand each other's contribution
2. Understand each other's limitation in the house work, to mention the problem in calm...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Miscommunication - One of the most common problems in life
Today, I had quite a big fight with my future husband. It is all because of miscommunication. I thought in this way and he thought in another way. I stick on my thought and he sticked on his. I cried the whole dinner, being so upset about it. Anyway, after a long talk later, we understand each other more. We have started our relationship for 3 years and still have misunderstanding. Why? I don't want to panic but to learn the reason to prevent the same issue re-happening in the future (It happened quite a lot of time before, all because of misunderstanding, miscommunication). I am wondering whether I have problem in communication? How can I cope with it? I need to learn how to explain myself clearly and make sure others get exactly what I am trying to say. So, here comes another enemies of mine: HOW TO AVOID MISUNDERSTANDING/MISCOMMUNICATION? I am gonna think of the solution in the near future. OMG, I have so many plan for this blog and for my self-improvement, yet, I have no time for it... Shame on me...
To add on what I missed out yesterday. I need to figure out how to not offend others when trying to convey myself. I am such a straight person that I often offend people when I oppose them directly. The advice is, try not to offend others by opposing them directly, and try best to convey another way around, indirectly. Try to open mind and accept others. There is no clear right and wrong in this world. Just that there are a lot of options out there and we need to compromise so that we can live in peace.
Sometimes I have to accept others’ thought although it could be wrong, for the long time sake of my life (remember, there is no right or wrong). We could do the wrong thing, together, but the most important part here is TOGETHER, not doing thing right or wrong…
To add on what I missed out yesterday. I need to figure out how to not offend others when trying to convey myself. I am such a straight person that I often offend people when I oppose them directly. The advice is, try not to offend others by opposing them directly, and try best to convey another way around, indirectly. Try to open mind and accept others. There is no clear right and wrong in this world. Just that there are a lot of options out there and we need to compromise so that we can live in peace.
Sometimes I have to accept others’ thought although it could be wrong, for the long time sake of my life (remember, there is no right or wrong). We could do the wrong thing, together, but the most important part here is TOGETHER, not doing thing right or wrong…
Thursday, July 5, 2007
What have I done in the last month?
Last’s blog "tomorrow" was a BIG BIG day for me. Because of that, since then, I was too busy doing research, preparing for my big day. Anyway, as what I said, in the progress of improving myself, I need to make it along with my marriage plan.
The question now is, what have I done in the last month to fight with the enemies I list down last month?
1. I want to speak English as fluently as an American.
I haven’t done anything about this. I haven’t done anything the last month to improve my English words wealth. Even worse, I feel that I always become numb sometimes when I cannot find the correct word to say. I just stand there, saying nothing at all. I should have find another way to explain myself even if I don’t know the word to say. For example, yesterday, when I tried to say that I could not reach the phone before it stops ringing, I was numb and cannot say anything at all the explain myself, just standing there, uhm uhm like an idiot.
Moreover, I find myself cannot listen to the English on the movie very well… Is it because of my ear problem or my incapability? I should blame it on my incapability to concentrate on listening. Is there anyway to practice this? I want myself to be able to understand the English speaking on the movie without really being concentrate on listening. Is that possible? Yes, it is. How? First thing first, step by step. First of all, I should watch more English movie, concentrate on listening, and catch as many words as possible. Then, practice to get the same level of understanding by gradually decreasing the level of concentration.
2. I want to earn extra income, beside the income from my full time job... For a longer goal of becoming financial freedom yeah yeah
Yesterday, I from my fh that his relative was able to buy a house with nearly $300k, the money that she earned by stocks. Let’s consider that it is possible. I want to set my goal of getting the same money in the next 3 years. So each year, I’ve got to earn as much as 100k. Is it possible? That’s the goal, I must aim to it. What are the ways? I should buy this book “The secret of self-made millionaire” something. I could be non-sense, but it could have tons of knowledge that I do not know. I HAVE TO BUY IT IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS. Why shouldn’t I borrow it from my friend? In that case, it won’t be mine forever. For this kind of book, it should come with me at least until I reach the goal. Buying is a good choice.
3. I am gonna learn AND PRACTICE how to deal with people (my team lead, my flat mates)
For this, I encountered a few problems lately. What should I do? I SHOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. Will update you later, my dear blog.
Yesterday, my fh told me about how I should think in the way others think when trying to convey myself, to avoid misunderstanding. I WILL STRIKE HARDER FOR THIS. I could not just always I am right all the time. I should think in the way that there is no right or wrong, everything is relatively in the view of each person. I know that, but I am a clear person. If I have someone, I could not force myself to even see his/her face. I should drive my thinking into accepting everything is possible, no clear right or wrong…
4. I want to self-study my finance book
THIS I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING. GOSH…
5. I want to go for a master course (MBA or MFE? that's a question), with as little cost as possible... The plan should come along with my marriage plan
I decided MBA is a better choice. Most likely I will go for it
6. I want to improve my complexion, it's so damn bad now...
It becomes better now, thanks to strawberry.net for selling the skin care products at a reasonable price. Thanks to the acne prone skin kit of Dermalogica. It works pretty great on me. My skin has almost no break out since I start using it, which was last Tuesday, only 4 days ago. The next step is to get a smoother and even skin, no more big pore. Hopefully Clinique’s turnaround concentrate can help me to do this…
Besides, I guess I should look around for any facial package at reasonable/discounted price and try it out. It is also a step preparing for the big day.
7. I want to learn experience from the PM. How???
HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING ABOUT THIS
8. How to increase my productivity and how people appreciate my value?
Currently, I feel that when I have nothing to do, I have no urge to ask my boss for more things to do. Or find myself something else to do, do increase my income in the free time I have at work??? I SHOULD THINK MORE ABOUT THIS.
9. Last month, I haven’t update my financial and accounting statement. Have to update for last month and revert to update each week to monitor how much I spend…
Tomorrow's plan:
1. List down all the questions I have asked myself.
2. Try to find 1 or more solutions for each question
3. Pros and cons, can allocate points to help to decide => Now because of point 3, I think I need this not to decide the only solution for each of my problem but to apply appropriate solution for the case that pros is more than cons…
The question now is, what have I done in the last month to fight with the enemies I list down last month?
1. I want to speak English as fluently as an American.
I haven’t done anything about this. I haven’t done anything the last month to improve my English words wealth. Even worse, I feel that I always become numb sometimes when I cannot find the correct word to say. I just stand there, saying nothing at all. I should have find another way to explain myself even if I don’t know the word to say. For example, yesterday, when I tried to say that I could not reach the phone before it stops ringing, I was numb and cannot say anything at all the explain myself, just standing there, uhm uhm like an idiot.
Moreover, I find myself cannot listen to the English on the movie very well… Is it because of my ear problem or my incapability? I should blame it on my incapability to concentrate on listening. Is there anyway to practice this? I want myself to be able to understand the English speaking on the movie without really being concentrate on listening. Is that possible? Yes, it is. How? First thing first, step by step. First of all, I should watch more English movie, concentrate on listening, and catch as many words as possible. Then, practice to get the same level of understanding by gradually decreasing the level of concentration.
2. I want to earn extra income, beside the income from my full time job... For a longer goal of becoming financial freedom yeah yeah
Yesterday, I from my fh that his relative was able to buy a house with nearly $300k, the money that she earned by stocks. Let’s consider that it is possible. I want to set my goal of getting the same money in the next 3 years. So each year, I’ve got to earn as much as 100k. Is it possible? That’s the goal, I must aim to it. What are the ways? I should buy this book “The secret of self-made millionaire” something. I could be non-sense, but it could have tons of knowledge that I do not know. I HAVE TO BUY IT IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS. Why shouldn’t I borrow it from my friend? In that case, it won’t be mine forever. For this kind of book, it should come with me at least until I reach the goal. Buying is a good choice.
3. I am gonna learn AND PRACTICE how to deal with people (my team lead, my flat mates)
For this, I encountered a few problems lately. What should I do? I SHOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. Will update you later, my dear blog.
Yesterday, my fh told me about how I should think in the way others think when trying to convey myself, to avoid misunderstanding. I WILL STRIKE HARDER FOR THIS. I could not just always I am right all the time. I should think in the way that there is no right or wrong, everything is relatively in the view of each person. I know that, but I am a clear person. If I have someone, I could not force myself to even see his/her face. I should drive my thinking into accepting everything is possible, no clear right or wrong…
4. I want to self-study my finance book
THIS I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING. GOSH…
5. I want to go for a master course (MBA or MFE? that's a question), with as little cost as possible... The plan should come along with my marriage plan
I decided MBA is a better choice. Most likely I will go for it
6. I want to improve my complexion, it's so damn bad now...
It becomes better now, thanks to strawberry.net for selling the skin care products at a reasonable price. Thanks to the acne prone skin kit of Dermalogica. It works pretty great on me. My skin has almost no break out since I start using it, which was last Tuesday, only 4 days ago. The next step is to get a smoother and even skin, no more big pore. Hopefully Clinique’s turnaround concentrate can help me to do this…
Besides, I guess I should look around for any facial package at reasonable/discounted price and try it out. It is also a step preparing for the big day.
7. I want to learn experience from the PM. How???
HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING ABOUT THIS
8. How to increase my productivity and how people appreciate my value?
Currently, I feel that when I have nothing to do, I have no urge to ask my boss for more things to do. Or find myself something else to do, do increase my income in the free time I have at work??? I SHOULD THINK MORE ABOUT THIS.
9. Last month, I haven’t update my financial and accounting statement. Have to update for last month and revert to update each week to monitor how much I spend…
Tomorrow's plan:
1. List down all the questions I have asked myself.
2. Try to find 1 or more solutions for each question
3. Pros and cons, can allocate points to help to decide => Now because of point 3, I think I need this not to decide the only solution for each of my problem but to apply appropriate solution for the case that pros is more than cons…
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